Never Mine to Lose
by SilentLaughter
Summary: "She was never mine to lose. Why regret what could not be?"-Enjolras realizes his proud stony heart belongs to the one person who never noticed him.


**Never Mine to Lose**

Enjolras could hear the pitiful cries of his comrades as they fell to the seemingly endless wave of bullets from the soldiers and tried his best to stay on task. As he continued to shoot he noticed a boy climbing from behind the barricade toward Marius. It was then in that same moment he noticed the soldier aiming for his friend and the boy taking the bullet in the chest, saving Marius's life. Stunned, Enjolras watched as Marius pulled the heavily bleeding body over the barricade and lie the person down. As he was moved the boy's body their cap was pulled off and a tangled mass of black curls was revealed.

"Eponine!" Marius cried causing Enjolras to turn at the name, his heart wrenching in the most agonizing way. The wave of bullets had died down as they soldiers needed time to regroup leaving the students to return to the other side and watch as Marius cradled the slowly dying Eponine in his arms. As Enjolras moved to stand by the two his throat tightened to see Eponine's dirty face holding a brilliant smile, a smile that wasn't for him.

"_She was never mine to lose."_ he watched with a trembling heart as the two held tight to one another, Eponine struggling to breath, Marius struggling to keep his tears back. A single droplet of rain fell from the sky and onto Enjolras cheek before the clouds parted and rain began to fall. Eponine's blood now pooling on the cobblestones began to wash away as she spoke softly to her beloved Marius.

"_Why regret what could not be?" _Enjolras watched with clenched fists as Eponine raised a shaking hand to Marius's cheek, her trembling fingers giving a lovers caress that Marius didn't deserve. The rain was a gentle one, a soothing one as if God Himself was crying over her death, one that wasn't necessary. Had it not been for her love of Marius she would have lived through this, Enjolras would have made sure of that. He watched as she removed a bloodied note from her pocket and hand it to Marius and could only assume it was Cosette, the one that had stolen Marius's heart and had broken Eponine's.

"_Those are words she would not say."_ from behind him Enjolras felt a hand take his shoulder and turned slightly to see Grantaire giving him a pity filled smile. He had been the only one to see Enjolras so closely hidden feelings for Eponine and knew that inside his friend's heart must be shattering.

"_Not to me…." _Enjolras turned back to Eponine whose breathing was coming out so faintly he couldn't see her chest moving. As Marius began to rock her back and forth gentle Enjorlas wished it was him to be holding Eponine, a girl who deserved the world on a string and only felt misery in its stead.

"_Not for me…." _those amber eyes that had first entranced him turned towards Enjolras and he watched as the tiniest spark of life left in her eyes slowly fade until they were hollow with Death. It was then that he had to move forward, his heart wouldn't allow him to stand by any longer.

"_Not for me, not for me." _as he slowly took Eponine's now lifeless body from Marius he said in a cold whisper,

"You didn't deserve her friendship when you were utterly blind to her love." and then he moved through the crowd of students into the café to lie her body somewhere safe. Once he was behind the doors of the café and he had knelt onto the floor he held her tightly to his chest and allowed himself at last to cry. The once proud stony heart of the Leader of the Revolution had now broken and shattered to the point he didn't care if anyone saw him. All he wanted to do was hold Eponine and never let go.

"_Her heart full of love." _looking down at her face Enjolras saw how peaceful and content she looked and kissed her brow hushing to her softly,

"If only I had told you sooner, if only I had done something, anything." but his voice cracked and he continued to cry. A slight tugging at his sleeve made him turn with tearstained face to see Gavroche standing behind him with tears in his own eyes.

"I think she knew." he said simply looking down at his sister, his words causing Enjolras to ask,

"What do you mean?"

"She knew, somehow she found out and knew. I wanted her to forget Marius but she couldn't let go, even when I begged her." Gavroche said as Enjolras held Eponine even tighter until his knuckles were white.

_ "She would have never, felt this way." _Enjorlas tried to compose himself as he laid Eponine down so gently that her body moved with such grace she seemed to float. Once she was on the floor, Enjolras fixed her hair, soothed her cheek and gave one last parting kiss on her forehead before rejoining his fellow comrades. Once he stepped out though his heart or whatever was left of it had frozen and his soul lost to a void. Everyone could see it in his eyes, he had died inside and only his body lived. Now he stood inside the café next to Grantaire, the red flag of rebellion in his hands as he stared straight into the eyes of his personal firing squad.

"Viva la France!" he cried before the bullets pierced his body but he felt nothing, not a thing as he welcomed Death hoping to be reunited with Eponine in Heaven, if he was even that lucky. As his limp body fell out the window with the flag still grasped in his hand he gave one final look up towards the skies before closing them at last.

"_She would have never, felt that way." _

"Do you hear the people sing? Lost in the Valley of the Night, it is the music of a people who are climbing to the light. For the wretched of the Earth there is a flame that never dies, even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."—Les Miserable


End file.
